Florida Keeps First-Cousin Marriage Legal

A proposal in the 2026 Florida Legislative session that would have banned marriage between first cousins made it through the House, then got stripped in the Senate, where state senators apparently decided that incestuous marriage was a family decision they would preserve—or at least choose not to tamper with. (The language was tucked into House Bill 733, a broader health bill.) Republican Rep. Dean Black, who backed the provision, said there are “plenty of people” someone can marry without choosing a first cousin, which sounds like a no-brainer reminder of how society is supposed to work. For now, the state of Florida has declined to make even that much mandatory.

Myakka City Woman Recovers After Hitting an Alligator

A GoFundMe has been launched for 25-year-old Maslin Kurtz of Myakka City, who is recovering after her vehicle hit an alligator and rolled over on March 5. According to the fundraiser, Kurtz suffered fractures to her shoulder, sternum and spine, spent time in the ICU and is now recovering at home. The fundraiser says a couple pulled Kurtz from her crushed car and prayed with her while they waited for emergency services. By mid-April, the GoFundMe had raised more than $6,300 toward a $9,000 goal to help with medical bills and living expenses. It’s a rough story, but also one with a very specific local texture: a rollover caused by an alligator, followed by a roadside rescue, prayer and a crowdfunding campaign. At this point, the state may as well put “plausibly involving reptiles” on its “Welcome to the Free State of Florida” signs.

Manatee’s ‘Monkey Whisperer’ Returned to Federal Court

Jimmy Wayne Hammonds, the Parrish animal dealer known as “The Monkey Whisperer,” was sentenced to nine months in federal prison after prosecutors said he trafficked primates—while already on probation for trafficking primates. That probation stemmed from an earlier federal case that ended with five years of supervision, a $90,000 fine and court records tying one of his monkey sales to R&B artist Chris Brown. After something like that, most people would take the hint. But Hammonds, according to prosecutors, appears to have interpreted it as a note to be more discreet. In the newer case, prosecutors said he used social media and an encrypted messaging app to arrange the sale of two common marmosets to an undercover agent for $7,400. Authorities also seized 67 animals—including lemurs, kangaroos, wallabies and otters—and Hammonds’ brother was also indicted in a related monkey-trafficking case. Apparently, wildlife trafficking runs in the family.

Sarasota’s Saks Survives a Game of Corporate Chicken

For a moment, it looked as if Sarasota might lose its Saks Fifth Avenue at The Mall at University Town Center, threatening our DNA as a wealthy town. But Saks Global decided to keep the store open after what it called “productive conversations” with landlord Simon Property Group. Commercial
real estate analyst CoStar framed the reversal in the context of Saks Global’s broader Chapter 11 restructuring, quoting a retail consultant who said chains in bankruptcy sometimes threaten more closures than they actually intend as a way to squeeze landlords for better terms. In other words, it’s a game of corporate chicken. For now, Saks Sarasota’s doors are open.