Silence, Please

Two women reported to Longboat Key police that their boating companion booted them off his vessel mid-outing—for the crime of excessive conversation. He allegedly flung their belongings overboard and left them marooned on a north Longboat Key beach. No charges were filed. Apparently, silence is golden—and wear a life vest.

Man vs. Barge

A paddleboarder near Nokomis Beach fell in the water and was promptly sucked under a barge’s current. He resurfaced wetter, wiser and likely rethinking the whole “zen on water” routine.

“Love” is in the Air

On a JetBlue flight bound for Sarasota-Bradenton International Airport, a couple was arrested for lewd acts after a fellow passenger traveling with two children alerted a flight attendant. They pleaded not guilty, and at press time no formal charges had been filed. The defendants have, however, been banned from JetBlue. Love may lift us up where we belong, but apparently not on commercial airlines.

Close (Cat) Call

A Venice beachgoer’s video of a bobcat crossing his path went viral thanks to his breathless narration. “Oh my god, my heart,” he exclaimed. Then, with equal urgency: “And my pants.” We’re guessing he didn’t mean he lost them.

Horsing Around

Horseback rides in Palma Sola Bay are scenic, controversial and occasionally unsanitary. Scientists have confirmed horse DNA floating in the bacteria they’ve sampled. But what the hay? After all, in waters that already host flesh-eating bacteria, what’s a little equine contribution?