@realDonaldTrump
Longboat Key no match for Palm Beach. Low-energy residents, no Trump properties. Beaches empty. Pathetic.

@realDonaldTrump
Linda Carson much too perky for early morning TV. Liked her better before she got kicked by the goat.

@realDonaldTrump
“Credible source” doubts Pinecraft’s birth certificates. They’re stealing our pie-baking jobs. Build a wall around the place and make Yoder’s pay.

@realDonaldTrump
Snowbirds or terrorists/refugees? They’re bringing crime, sex, bingo. Some, I assume, are good people but TRAVEL BAN NECESSARY FOR OUR SECURITY!

@realDonaldTrump
Siesta Key Beach is a disaster. Needs development BADLY. Hotels, condos, outlet mall. WAKE UP SARASOTA.

@realDonaldTrump
More FAKE NEWS. Herald-Tribune said “rain on Thursday.” Bright and sunny instead. I canceled my golf game. SAD.

@realDonaldTrump
SAY NO TO ROUNDABOUTS. Socialist European invention. Forced upon us by NATO. Make America’s intersections American again!!!

@realDonaldTrump
Had lunch with Carlos Beruff. A great guy and patriot. HE SWORE PERSONAL LOYALTY, GOT DOWN ON HIS KNEES AND KISSED MY NECKTIE.

@realDonaldTrump
Save the manatees? GET RID OF THE MANATEES! Useless ‘animals’ terrorize patriotic American boaters. RUN ‘EM OVER! I’ll pay your legal fees.

@realDonaldTrump
Congrats to Melania for WINNING the ‘She Knows Where She’s Going’ award from Girls Inc. Well-deserved, but sorry, Mel—the pre-nup stands.

@realDonaldTrump
Just back from Warm Mineral Springs. Russians everywhere. Love you guys. Thanks for everything, especially the suitcase full of ‘blinis.’

@realDonaldTrump
Nik Wallenda is set for another daredevil stunt. Hope he makes it. I like aerialists that DON’T fall off their high wires.

@realDonaldTrump
Red tide science is a total hoax! Why get rid of something so full of nutrients and natural chemicals? No red tide regulations! IT’S GOOD FOR YOU!

@realDonaldTrump
Affordable housing needed? It’s a scam, folks! We need RICH PEOPLE—Chinese, Russians, Saudi Arabians, etc.—not low-income LOSERS!

@realDonaldTrump
Sea urchin at publicly funded Mote Marine can change its gender at will. Sick. VERY BAD use of taxpayer money!

@realDonaldTrump
Just signed executive order to close the Woman’s Exchange. From now on women may be returned but not exchanged. Don’t know where they’ve been.

@realDonaldTrump
Time to privatize Ringling Museum. Sell gloomy paintings, install my portrait, move bar to courtyard. Ca’ d’Zan=Mar-a-lago!

@realDonaldTrump
Weak Chatterbox needs new jokes. All stolen from REAL comedians. His ratings are terrible plus I hear he has problems in the bedroom.