Dating is hard, especially when you’ve been out of the game for a while. If your dating life has been less than successful, you may need to re-evaluate your dating strategy and see what isn’t working and what you can change. Mimi Lee, a professional matchmaker, shares some of her top tips on how to improve your success with dating.
Plan for What You Want to Achieve from Dating
The dating world can be intimidating, especially if you have experienced heartbreak or loss. While you can’t worry about what has happened in the past, it’s important to know if you’re ready to move forward. Just like with fitness goals, you need to have a clear sense of where you want to end up. Ask yourself these questions to get a good grasp on your true intentions, and notice which ones you feel most comfortable saying yes to:
- Am I truly ready for romance?
- Am I willing to invest time, energy and money to achieve my goals for new romance?
- What exactly am I looking for?
- A date to find a friend of the opposite sex?
- A date to find a guy/gal who fits with my lifestyle?
- A date that I am willing to fit my lifestyle with his or hers?
- A man/woman I would move mountains and sacrifice myself for?
- A date that leads to building a loving relationship?
Understanding your state of “dating readiness” and knowing what you want from a partner will help ensure you end up with the results you’re after.
Make Room in Your Life for Romance to Flourish
Whether it is your first date or your fifth date, if your partner thinks your schedule is too hectic to plan dates, the relationship will likely end soon. Your date/partner needs to feel like a priority, especially in the beginning phases when you both are trying to decide if a relationship is something you want long term. We get it, everyone is busy—but if you are making love a priority, then actually make it a priority. You may need to give up certain things in your schedule to incorporate time with your new partner. Don’t let your schedule be the thing that stops you from having a successful relationship. We believe love should be a priority, and if you are dating, that means you think so, too. Romance and passion require fuel, and fuel, my friends, equals time. Invest the time and your romance will flourish.
Be Sincerely Interested
This one seems obvious, but sadly it happens more than you may realize. When you go on a date, you have to show interest. If your date asks you a question, make sure you ask them one back after you respond. It is so important to let your date feel valued, and to let them know you aren’t just listening and waiting for your turn to talk. Show interest in who they are, what they like and dislike, and their passions. I advise that the deeper the question posed, the more depth of character will reveal itself. The flushing out of each other’s character adds up to deeper connections. Depth provides more intense romance and synchronized intimacy, and fosters the likelihood of what we like to call “sparks flying”.
Good dating questions can be found here: https://mytopmatchmaker.com/10-questions-to-ask-on-the-first-date/
Follow these steps and the likelihood of building a loving, sexy, fun and meaningful relationship will definitely increase.
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