The holiday season kicks off in November, when we sit down to give thanks for the year’s gifts. Sometimes those thanks come in the form of gratitude for relatives and friends who only appear once a year. Regardless of your company, we recommend these universal and usually unspoken etiquette tips. 

Compliment your mom on how beautiful her home looks, even if the senior yearbook photo you’d like to forget is on full display.

Bring a bottle of wine for the host to enjoy—at a later time. It’s a gift, not a menu item. Bring another for yourself to drink in the closet if things go sideways.

Offer to bring a dish. No, not vegan loaf. No one wants that.

During cocktail hour, scoop the appetizer dip onto your plate to avoid double-dipping. Your weird uncle has repeatedly told you he’s unvaccinated. This is the time to believe him.

If you’re intimidated by the table setting, remember to work silverware from the outermost utensils inward. Avoid using your fork to stab your family when they ask you when you’re going to have kids. You may, however, use the spoon. It hurts less and is therefore more polite.

Avoid wearing perfume—some people have sensitivities to fragrances. Well, unless you and your cousins “go for a walk” after dinner. Then you may want to pack some eye drops, too.

Your bread plate is the one on your left, and your drink goes on your right. We don’t care what Grandpa says. Based on his choice of conversation topics, he’s usually wrong.

Let your dad carve the turkey. Even if he’s awful at it. He needs this win.

No, you don’t have to eat the cranberry “sauce.” Just push it around your plate like everyone else.

Offer to lead the cleanup; it’s a great way to be alone.

Wait for the hosts to sit down and have their first bite before starting to eat, even if she’s decided to start deep cleaning the baseboards or he has begun weed-whacking the grass around the mailbox. Hopefully, they’ll invite you to start without them.

Ditch the debates. No politics. No religion. No life coaching unless you really want to ruin the holiday spirit. Despite the dramas, we all want to get together, don’t we?

And for Pete’s sake, send a thank you note. It takes three minutes to write.