When the tattooed guy playing beer pong is the moral compass, you know something isn't right

Image: Courtesy MTV

In case the events of last week were forgotten, the first few minutes of "Deflect, Deflect, Deflect" depict a haze of blonde 20-somethings, each as undistinguishable as the next, gossiping about protagonist Juliette finding boyfriend, Alex, in bed with two girls. Alex claims that nothing happened. Juliette believes him, and there are even pictures on social media of the reunited couple snuggling on a speedboat. Scandalous.

But Juliette’s friend Chloe is suspicious of Alex, and a friend of a friend tells Chloe that Alex did in fact have sex with one of the girls. He was bragging about it to someone else. This leads to the standout quote of the episode from Chloe: “He talked about her vagina?” Chloe then tells Juliette what she heard.

Juliette is angry. Alex denies everything. I don't understand why everyone is basing what might have happened that night on everyone's personal testimony. If only there were camera people everywhere whose entire job is to film their daily lives for a reality show. You’re telling me no one has any footage of what happened that fateful night? Sure.

Chloe and Alex, who were best friends before the glitz and glam of the show, go head to head. Alex is furious with Chloe for intervening in his relationship. Chloe and Alex end their friendship during the confrontation.

In other news, former model Kelsey eats brunch with her mother, who suffers from multiple sclerosis. It could have been a heartfelt conversation about a parent battling illness. Instead, this is a good time to talk about Kelsey’s love life. Her ex-boyfriend, Garrett, is seeing Cara. Kelsey is convinced Cara is just using Garrett to get closer to Alex, and in a fit of bad acting, she confronts Garrett at a party late on, and then bursts into tears. I wonder if there’s a crying bonus for the cast. Do they earn more bucks if they shed more tears? Or is there a tear quota they have to reach before the end of the season?

Bad boy Pauly, meanwhile, gets in trouble with the law for being caught with an open container. What would have been a slap on the wrist becomes a warrant for an arrest when he fails to appear in court. Smart. The Kompothecras family hires a lawyer. The next day, Alex shows up at Ball's Bail Bonds to pay $1,500 to bail out Pauly, who is now also in trouble for possession of marijuana of over 24 grams. (Did no one tell him that CBD shops around Sarasota offer all the chill benefits of marijuana without the illegal THC?) While incarceration rates for marijuana possession continue to rise, Pauly is just concerned that his grandmother will find out and take away his trust fund. Basically, like, the same thing.

Toward the end of the episode, veteran Jared opens up about his post-traumatic stress disorder. He's looking into therapy and wants to find ways to hang out that don't include alcohol binges. So far this season, Jared is well-adjusted and emotionally intelligent. That must be why MTV never gives him screen time.

Want to brush up on what’s happened thus far? Read past recaps of Siesta Key here.

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