In a complete surprise to everyone, MTV's Sarasota-based reality show Siesta Key was renewed for a second season. The show premiered last night in a two-part special. 

"Born A King" begins with Siesta Key's main character, Alex Kompothecras—son of 1-800-Ask-Gary founder Gary Kompothecras—who is gearing up for a milestone every 20-something in Sarasota has surely had to face: a yacht birthday party. However, Alex's girlfriend Juliette is struggling to fit into his world. Case in point: she has no idea what to even wear on a yacht, and doesn’t know what gift to get the guy who received a boat from his parents. Juliette's also worried because Alex has a reputation for being a player—but she’s about to graduate from college and wants to settle down. 

Meanwhile, Juliette’s supposed best friend, Chloe, does not like Alex because he's previously said rude things to her and is portrayed as an overall bully. We're never given concrete evidence as to what he's done, but she retaliates by inviting his ex-girlfriend Cara to the party. It’s worth noting that this decision happens over a plate of nachos, where obviously all nefarious acts of revenge are planned. 

Characters with less interesting storylines are at the party, too, and we get brief updates on them. Madisson, for example, has moved out of the beach house she shared with a former fling and back into her dad's equally large home, where of course she won’t pay rent. This, we’re told, is devastating. “Not a good look,” Chloe explains to the camera. 

At Alex's party, Madisson has a heart-to-heart with new character, Jared.  We're clearly meant to root for them—Madisson squeezes Jared's arm as he tearfully recounts the past six years he's spent serving in the Navy. Conveniently, he is  Alex's arch enemy—which begs the question, why is he even at the party? A slew of other characters from last season—Garrett (remember his abs?), Brandon and Kelsey among them—also make brief appearances. 

When Chloe arrives with Cara in tow, Juliette is not happy. Alex is just trying to chill—we see him wearing a flower crown and holding a bottle of Champagne—and kicking out an ex-girlfriend would kill his vibe. So instead, Juliette confronts Chloe for inviting Cara. Chloe argues that Alex has screwed the whole town, so what’s one more girl? Not satisfied with that answer, Juliette then decides to confront Cara in an argument that we’re told will be explosive. Spoiler alert: it’s not. They both just yell expletives at one another, trying desperately not to make eye contact with the camera three inches away from their faces. 

"Your Own Hairdresser" begins the morning after Alex's birthday party, where a fight broke out. At least that’s what we’re told—we never actually see any of it. 

Instead, Juliette and Amanda, a blonde woman almost indistinguishable from Juliette, are getting their hair done. Both are reeling over the events of last night. Amanda makes the astute observation that Chloe is probably jealous of all the time Juliette spends with Alex instead of with Chloe, her best friend.

Meanwhile, in a separate clip, Chloe and Cara are also discussing what went down at the party while getting foot massages: everyone is shocked, no one saw it coming and so on. I would say the same if all the previews for the season hadn't featured this fantasy brawl front and center. 

The scene switches to a nondescript tiki bar, where Jared and Brandon are also discussing the previous night's events. Jared was involved in the fight and, in case you forgot about Brandon, he’s a burgeoning rapper who we’re told has been selling out shows. The gang actually meets up at one of his latest shows—the first time they're all back together after Alex's party. This is the climax of the episode, where there is screaming, fighting about last night's fight, a couple shoves and a few obligatory pans to Garrett, who is just standing there most of the time, not saying a word. 

The show transitions to a new scene, where everyone is inexplicably gathered to argue again, but with the sandy shores of Siesta Key as the background. It's worth noting that at no point does the cast ever refer to the area as Sarasota, choosing instead to discuss how Siesta Key is the source of parties and drama. But we've got bigger questions to ponder. As Brandon points out, it’s weird that everyone hangs out when all they do is fight. And for someone who’s had, like, two lines in the past 120 minutes, he’s definitely got a point—for people who dislike each other so much, it’s amazing how they all manage to end up in the same vicinity over and over again, much less call each other friends. Oh wait: ratings. 

This time, everyone gangs up on Chloe, who decides to leave. Afterward, Alex approaches Juliette and tells her that this is totally not how he wanted to spend his post-birthday morning. (I hear you, Alex.) He then tells Juliette that he has something to tell her. What exactly this might be we’re left to wonder, as the credits roll and the viewer is promised that all will be revealed in the next episode. 

And just like that, we are 2 episodes into this season of Siesta Key. Until next Tuesday...

Wanna brush up on what's happened thus far? Read past recaps of MTV Siesta Key here.