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Center Stage: Former ballerina and busy arts patron Jean Weidner poses on the stage of the Van Wezel with another sure-fire showstopper - the Mercedes-Benz S600. Mercedes-Benz courtesy of Glauser Mercedes-Benz


 
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Cars That Say Sarasota
Automobile expert Robert Bowden picks the perfect local wheels.

Years ago, John T. Malloy made a big deal-and a lot of money-by proclaiming that you "are what you wear." His statistically derived conclusion resulted in those best-selling "Dress For Success" books.

But back then, a man in a suit was successful; a man in bib coveralls was a lout who probably didn't floss. Today, the man in coveralls has cows grazing on $20-an-acre greenbelt land worth millions and the man in the suit wants to sell you Amway products. And that guy in shorts and Birkenstocks? He bailed out of Enron just in time and bought a condo on Siesta Key. Clothes, you see, no longer suffice as societal separators. John T. Malloy is as gone as Joe DiMaggio.

In the present casual dress climate, and especially along Florida's west coast, clothing doesn't reveal the real you nearly as well as your vehicle.

Yes, your vehicle.

Your choice of vehicle defines you to those in the know-like me. I've spent more than a dozen years now test driving and reviewing almost every vehicle sold in the United States. I've drawn conclusions, and with just a little bit of information about you, I can tell you the car that best defines you and your Sarasota lifestyle.

Remember: You are not just buying a car. A minivan. A sport utility. A truck. You are buying a frame for your mobile persona. Those who see you pass may not hold up cards reading "10" or "6.5" at stoplights, but they are nonetheless judging you based on your chariot. Oh, yes.

The choices are many. The decision is yours. Find yourself in our guide, and you'll have nothing to Saab about with your next vehicle.

* * *

THE SNOWBIRD FROM MICHIGAN

You think it's easy driving down I-75 from somewhere in Michigan? You think tropical-shirt-wearing tourists spending their dollars on St. Armands didn't pull into rest stops, exit their vehicles and grab their lower backs every hour? You think it was all Cracker Barrels and Residence Inns?

Wrong. For many tourists, getting to our paradise means going through hell. Blame a bad vehicle. And next time, buy the Cadillac Deville DTS.

Few cars try as hard to please. I mean, just look at this technological wonder. It has every gizmo GM's Detroit dreamers could imagine. And many of those gizmos are aimed at comfort, that all-important factor for the long journey South.

Begin with the one feature our back-grabber will like best. The Deville DTS has programmable front seats that can massage your back every 10 minutes! At preset regular intervals, you feel the seat start to move up and down your spine. Sure, it's alarming at first, having a seat play touchy-feely with your lower back. But then you settle in and enjoy.

Naturally, the seats can recline and are heated, just in case it's snowy as one departs Michigan. They are full leather, adjust 12 ways, and move out of the way on entry or exit, returning to a preset position as the key is inserted. The rear bench seat is large enough for a spring breakers' party.

Speed is set by cruise control, the headlights magically come on at dusk, the windshield wipers spring to life if a drop of water hits the glass, and a NightVision system will "sees" that moose in the middle of I-75 long before the Xenon headlights pick it up. The moose is displayed in a black-and-white image projected onto the windshield in front of our driver.

When our snowbirds put the car in reverse (not to return to Michigan, but just to back up), a rear bumper-mounted ultrasonic system will measure the distance to any object behind the car and beep at just about the exact moment they strike or run over that object.

The Northstar drivetrain, with a 300-horsepower V8 engine and four-speed automatic transmission, is a world-class combination. But just in case there is trouble of any kind, the Deville DTS has the OnStar system, so a touch of a button brings a real human on the other end of a communications connection, willing to give directions, make reservations or read e-mail.

* * *

NEW RESIDENT FROM THE NORTH

If you're new to Florida and want to enjoy motoring in the sun, there's a convertible you'll be drawn to. What the Chevrolet Suburban is to Texas and to President George W. Bush, the Chrysler Sebring is to Florida.



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