"You Have Breast Cancer"

A diagnosis of breast cancer can be terrifying. The good news? Although an estimated 225,000 cases of breast cancer are diagnosed every year, the mortality rate is rapidly decreasing, thanks to early detection, aggressive treatments and new conclusions regarding hormone use. The American Cancer Society’s statistics show that in 2005 there were more than two million survivors of breast cancer in the United States alone. Even so, the moment of diagnosis can still induce shock, fear and depression.

“It felt like a bad dream,” says Cinthia Reed, who, days before her 47th birthday, learned she had early stages of breast cancer. “All I could think about was my 10-year-old daughter waiting for me outside. I didn’t know how to keep it together in front of her.”

When Reed, who is a widow and bringing up her daughter alone, finally got the courage to leave the examining room and greet her daughter, she says she didn’t say a thing about the cancer. “I didn’t want to worry her, and anyway, I couldn’t get myself to say the words.”

John Kleinbaum, a clinical psychologist and program director at The Wellness Community of Southwest Florida, says that after receiving a diagnosis of cancer, people experience fluctuating emotions that include shock, anger, sadness, and denial.

“It’s a real challenge to simply accept that your life is now changed forever,” he says. “It often takes weeks or months before people can fully engage in their recovery.”

Reed says it took about three weeks before she felt she had a grip on her situation. “Right away, I started thinking about wills, about dying. I got pretty maudlin,” she says. Reed admits she’s one of the lucky ones; her condition required only removal of the small tumor—a lumpectomy—followed by several weeks of radiation therapy. Before treatment she spent a long weekend camping with her daughter. “One thing this experience has inspired in me is to spend more time with the people I love—and enjoy the life I still had,” she says.

It takes time to sort through all your emotions, says Dr. Deanna Doyle-Vallery, an area-based obstetrician and gynecologist. “My advice is for them to understand that there is a natural process we undergo when we are given life-challenging news like this,” she says. “There are decisions to make, and the better prepared you are to make them, the better off you’ll be.”

Doyle-Vallery, who serves on the board of Breast Health Sarasota, Inc., also advises patients to “trust your health care team. Your family and friends will all try to give you advice and tell you about the newest treatments. Don’t overload yourself with too much information because it can be overwhelming. Trust your doctors and follow their treatment plan; they’re there to support you. Focus on trusting them and getting better.”

After the initial shock come “the rigors of the treatment itself,” says Kleinbaum. “On top of all of the emotional weight, the woman now has to face the adverse physical affects of surgery, chemotherapy, radiation.”

The end-of-treatment phase can also be stressful, says Kleinbaum. “Before this, you had the support of a full medical team—nurses, doctors, technicians, and office staff. Now you feel alone, alienated.”

Both Kleinbaum and Doyle-Vallery urge cancer patients to build a strong support system. “Tap into your local wellness community,” says Doyle-Vallery, “especially if you don’t have a strong support system at home. Find a safe place and speak to other people who have experienced what you’re going through.”

Kleinbaum couldn’t agree more. “The most important aspect of recovery is to find a supportive environment. If you don’t have this at home, then reach out to community support groups. There’s no better comfort than to speak with people who are also experiencing it. In fact, there’s a real gallows humor among survivors. A favorite response, for instance, to [the greeting] ‘Glad you’re here,’ is ‘Glad I’m anywhere.’”

Reed says that the few times she found herself getting angry during the treatment period were when friends or family would suggest that she change her diet or lifestyle. “It sounded to me like they were blaming me for ‘getting’ this,” she says. “That maybe if I had eaten more raw vegetables, I’d be OK. And although I want to be healthy, it was hard enough for me to get up every morning and just get through the day—without having to change my life.”